No shit, there I was…


Sitting ass-naked in a pool of freshly poured milk.  Wild party, or rough morning?

I woke up a few mornings ago, running on successively less sleep each night, (this particular morning was 4 hours of sleep), and had an interesting experience.  I was trying to put the cap back on the milk jug when I dropped it, stepped forward to pick it up, kicked it by accident causing it to fly forward and spew milk as it traveled.  As I stepped forward/kicked it at the same time, I slipped on my ass and slid 5 feet across my kitchen on my ass and back.  I sat up at the end and looked around; the only thing I could think of was “Did that really just fucking happen?”.  I was dripping wet from my shoulders to my toes, with milk.  I sleep naked, which would explain why I went 5 feet after slipping.

In other news I got to see my wife drunk for the second time in our 8.5 year marriage tonight.  I’ve talked to her over the phone when she was drunk before, but that pales in comparison to the real thing.  She took about 12 shots of Fireball whiskey, the hangover tomorrow should be pretty shitty.  Our routines are a little shaky, but I have made pretty good progress in the last 2 years from betrayed husband to a husband who is married to, and supports a bipolar wife while both of us are full-time students and we have 3 kids.  OHOHOHOH by the way, our oldest is taking his first standardized test as part of the homeschooling we’re doing with him.  Fuck yeah,

Right this second I’m eating Pizza from Little Caesars, and drinking a Blue Moon belgian white beer.  Memorial Day is not really about the veterans, and hopefully isn’t another day for you to vacation and barbecue on; remember the fallen and the deployed.  If you personally don’t know anyone who has fallen, find the names of 3 OIF or OEF warriors and pour a beer or shot of booze out on the grass for them.  

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3 responses to “No shit, there I was…

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