Pending hospital discharge


She gets out of the psychiatric facility in 2 days.

My feelings about what’s going on right now are pretty weird.  Worse and better than 2012.

I have two sets of feelings at the same time, separate, but equally strong.

I’m looking forward to having her come home so we can figure out how to move forward.

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New Discovery Day: December 9th 2014


BRaving Bipolar went into the hospital on the 7th. I asked on the evening of the 9th if anything had “happened” and she said yes, but she didn’t want to get in to it right then. So I got 2 hours of sleep that night.
On the 10th she confessed to me that since she got back from her solo vacation to San Diego on 18 Nov she had slept with 4 men, 2 of which used no protection.  I was angered until I realized that on the 5th of December, her most recent encounter, I had been suffering a horrible migraine all day and I got up to take care of the kids so she could go do school work. Instead, she got dolled up, fucked a dude, maybe did some of her college work and went to her support group.

So I feel really ugly, inadequate, small in the world, disgusting, vulnerable, angry and confused. Right back to the beginning of where I was when I started this blog 2 and a half years ago.