So Swinging…

The wife and I had a conversation last week and we’ve decided that we’re going to try “swinging”.  For those not familiar with swinging, it is some variation of having sexual contact with another person, persons, group, all sorts of neat stuff.  We had our first meet with a couple this past weekend, the entire point of it was to get to know them, let them get to know us, and enjoy each other’s company.  They were pretty cool and we’ve planned to get together in the future.  At this point, we’re only meeting people as couples, but willing to accept a single female.  We’re open to full swap, soft swap (including oral), and same room sex.  That seems like a nice way to start this adventure.

Some of you may wonder what the difference between this and affairs?  I wondered why I would not be ok with the affairs, but ok with this as well.  The primary difference: trust and consent.  I consent to this and can trust her.


10 responses to “So Swinging…

  1. I believe there a massive difference between swinging and cheating. The former is a mutual acknowledgement of desires you both have – the ultimate honesty – while the latter is the ultimate betrayal of trust

  2. My partner and I are poly, which is a bit different than swingers but I totally get you about how trust is the key. Just advice jealousy will still happen, address it right away and don’t let hurt feelings keep you quiet.

  3. I’m not here to judge. Seriously I’m not. I’m pretty open-minded. If my wife indicated an interest in this, I certainly would consider it. but I do know this because I’ve read it or heard it (I know a few ex-swingers) many times: Swinging becomes a danger to the marriage. You think you can keep it under control, but it almost always leads to separation. it’s basically “consented cheating.” And as cool as everyone thinks they can be with it, sooner or later, one of the partners will get jealous. Or one will become bonded to one of their fuck-partners. And the whole thing can unravel. I’m just saying, I would think long and hard about this but based on what you posted yesterday, it’s already occurred. Good luck.

    • Some people can only be monogamous, others can be poly. Its not always for sure that both partners can handle it, but I know literally dozens of couples who are poly, most want something more committed than swinging but I also now lots of people with open relationships who have play partnets, mutual or solo. Jealousy happens, its human nature, its how you deal with it that matters.

    • I respect your opinion and thank you for offering it. We’re in the beginning and we’ve found what we believe to be some pretty good mentors; but this doesn’t mean that we’ll swing forever or that we won’t take breaks. In all honesty, when I thought about it over the months, what offended me most wasn’t that she had sex with other people, it’s that I was being lied to. Please keep up with my future posts, because I enjoy your experience and perspective.

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