Found a couple more rare than a unicorn…


Found a couple that lives 5 minutes away, is a little bit younger than us, and is pretty much open to anything we want to do.  We met them on a saturday and let our kids play in an indoor jungle-gym place that I wish existed when I was their age.  We hit things off good; the next night they came over and we all played in the same room.  Little awkwardness, we were their second full swap couple, and the first time they swapped sober.  The husband literally said, we’re here, do what you want with us.  There were a couple of bro-fists between he and I as we both had our way with the other’s wife.

Two nights later we evolved a few rules.  Pretty risky, but has turned out well.  So rules we bent: solo play, protection, and babysitters.  We’ve played in separate rooms before and generally prefer it, but I won’t deny that it can be hot seeing my wife do what she likes, and there can be some fun and funny moments when everybody plays as a group.  The protection rule was something that we thought about eventually offering to a couple that we wanted to be FWB with, and turns out that they were looking for the same thing.  So we offered it to them, and left it up to them; I was in for a treat that evening.  She came over, we kissed and groped, then she went down on me for a minute and told me she wanted to ride me on the couch and asked me if I needed to get anything.  When I said “only if you want me to” she said no, and so I insisted we let my wife and her husband know so they could enjoy the same.  Holy shit.  Fantastic.  On the babysitters: they are expensive when you have 3 kids.  We waited until kids went to sleep, locked the bedroom door and stayed fairly quiet.  Turns out they aren’t affected and neither were we.

Next night (last night) was a real treat.  Next night my play partner had a bad day, and we were supposed to do another solo swap but she wasn’t feeling up to it.  I’d had a migraine all day and taken my maximum dosage of vicodin, so I was pretty grumpy just from all the pain medication.  Her husband joked “Do I have to send ********* over?” to which I replied I wouldn’t say no.  That started a 10 minute conversation between him and my wife, which resulted in wives driving to opposite houses.  His wife spent the night with me, and we didn’t go to sleep until 2, since I had to get up at 5.  My wife got to enjoy him for a few hours longer, and came home at 615’ish.

She gives me super intense orgasms that are pretty messy.  Everybody is having fun and wants more.

We’ve expressed that we aren’t interested in playing with anybody other than them and things continue to go awesome.  We’ve got a 5-day length of time coming in August where our kids are out of town with a friend, so I wonder what we will do with all that time…

Until then though, I have to travel to San Diego for work next week.

Descriptions of play dates and interesting observations…


So here’s the summary of the play dates I’ve had.  Enjoy and laugh!

Playdate 1 was a burnout.  Like bad.  We met them on Memorial Day, had a great hangout with them, at the end of the night they asked if we could get a babysitter (to play) we couldn’t.  We were going to set something up for the weekend.  Monday rolls around: I’m lifting and testing 1 rep max for deadlift that day, so at the end of the day I’m spent.  I go donate plasma (cause it pays for babysitters and such stuff) and get a text from bRaving that they want us to come over and play that night.  So I’m like ok.  We get there: she isn’t into me at all, she’s very awkward about the whole thing.  To top it off I had a little bit of vodka to cool my nerves about our first play date.  So bRaving kicks things off by making out with her, and eventually I end up kissing her (which she is good at) and we all move upstairs.  The girls trade giving eachother oral and at the time the guys got involved in iy bRaving was going down on number 1.  So I crawl on the best close to her and she gives me this horrified look and that killed any sexual desire I had in me; then she looks and sees her husband behind my wife and grabs my cock and starts stroking.  Some blood goes in and it gets a “little” hard, but not much.

She puts it in her mouth, still soft but it gets hard enough to put in her so I get a condom on.  She bends over the bed, clenches her ass and has this weird look of apprehension on her face and my dick stops working period.  So long story short, I sat on the sidelines and watched a threesome happen because she wasn’t really into it.  Embarassing and humiliating; it took a week to get over feeling like there was something wrong with me, because even my wife couldn’t get me hard that night.  However, the deadlifting, plasma donation and her lack of interest in anything to do with me is what was wrong.

Start with number 2:

She was a pleasantly thick girl mid twenties with a very small butt, height-weight proportionate, and 38D breasts.  She’s pretty wild, sexually aggressive and passionate.  I had good communication with her for a few days up to the play date.  Slow getting started but once it did, we were in their living room and she grinded on me while my wife grinded on her husband.  After that she ended up giving me head, I went down on her, started fucking her on the couch before everybody moved upstairs into separate bedrooms.

After some time on top she went to get my wife and they gave me a two-girl bj, then they went back to her husband for the same, then she came back to me while my wife stayed with her husband.  I fucked number 2 in the ass and came in her mouth.  This chic could literally suck a golfball through a garden hose.

It should be noted that we did not meet this couple beforehand, we met them and within an hour I was balls deep in her.  Very nice couple, we enjoyed them and they us, we’re trying to make another date happen.

Number 3 is about my height, 5’8 or 5’9 (I’m 5’10).  She is a former crossfitter that gained weight and is slowly coming back down while training for powerlifting.  She also had rather large breasts and a bunch of tattoos, particularly a tree that started on her left hip and ran around and up to her back and shoulders.  She has long hair on the top and shaved the sides and back so it’s more like a mohawk, but you can’t tell unless she bunches that hair up.  She is more submissive than I’ve ever really experienced.  If she wasn’t faking it, she really liked what I was doing when I went down on her (which I love doing by the way), and was very vocal and animated about it; she pounded the bed and grasped at covers a few times.  This play date was interesting because after we went through a few positions and I finished, bRaving and the other man were also finished, we laid on my bed and just cuddled with women in the middle.  It should be noted that all 4 of us were in the same room and using the same bed.  We really didn’t make contact between the couples, just two couples fucking, sucking or licking on the same bed.

Now number 3 is EXTREMELY responsive, and she warned me of this prior to the play date.  Just running my finger tips from her hip, up her side and back to her neck apparently got her worked up a lot.  We’re big kissers and so were they, so we spend a significant amount of time smashing faces together passionately (and I mean fucking PASSIONATELY).  She also let/asked me to choke her a little while we laid there, which she said she wouldn’t do beforehand, and that turned out to be a really big thing for her.  We had sex twice, tried to go for a third but it was just her and the other two were staring at us so I called it.

I had EXTREMELY good communication in the 3 days between first meet and play date, to the tune of literally spending all 3 days at work chatting with her on kik.  She allowed me to choke her and spank her during the first play date.  Caught her husband a little off guard because of how big trust and control is to her.  At one point I was behind her doing my thing, and occassionally spanking her.  Since she’s very vocal and VERY RECEPTIVE to what I was doing at one point bRaving, who was laying next to her because they were finished for that round, mentioned that I had been practicing spanking on her.  I asked number 3 if it was working and she didn’t break the moaning but her husband said “I think she’s saying yes”.  That caused all 4 of us to break out into hysterical laughter mid-fuck.  Great time.

Unfortunately due to a bad hang-out experience after that, we might not be able to play with them again, which sucks because I really enjoyed the entire play time experience.  We were supposed to hang out with them yesterday but things couldn’t line up.  I’m hoping we can repair the bruised egos and get back to being friends that fuck.  In summary though if you get a chance to have sex with a crossfitter, or a former crossfitter who is training to be a powerlifter, you should fucking do it.

Number 4 is probably my favorite, I’m not sure if I can put it in to words but I will try.

So in communication with them on Kik they told us that they weren’t married (no problem, not uncommon), had met 3 couples but never played with them before.  He is black, she is white, both in their late 30’s.  She is very thin, approximately 122 pounds and an a or b cup breasts.  She has a bunch of tattoos all over her body.  She is a very passionate lover, kisses great, uses her hands great, and smells great.  She is the whole package.  I’ve never been with a woman who was as small/skinny as she is, so it was a new experience for me.  She was also very into the oral I was giving her, and she gives really good head that doesn’t leave my balls aching for a day or two after like number 2 did.

After I went down on her and she went down on me, I leaned forward, got her upright and pulled her down on me for some passionate kissing and embracing before I told her I wanted to be in her; she put the condom on and stayed on top.  That girl can fuck from the top.  She also seemed to like it when I reached up behind her and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her down on to me when I would trust up.  After that I got on top, we had a laugh because I’m used to baby having a little more back, so we had to get a pillow to put under her butt and lift her pelvis up a little bit.  Then bent her over the side of the bed and things went a little awry for me after about 10 minutes of her being bent over-it was clear that the meds I am taking for chronic migraines weren’t going to let me achieve orgasm or even stay hard, so I asked for a break, which she was happy before because her head was spinning.

She couldn’t recover from the spinning head so we called it a night after laying next to eachother bullshitting about books, movies and favorite actors.  We were in separate rooms and I had her all to myself.  At the beginning bRaving and number 4’s boyfriend went back to a bedroom and number 4 and I sat on the couch for a little while longer and talked before she asked me to go back.  The way she kissed, touched and moved is probably what made this my favorite.  Very sensual, very passionate, all pleasure.  A few hours after we left they said the definitely wanted to play again.  So I’m working hard to make that one happen.

Among the myriad of potentials we’ve run into, we’ve had to make some priorities over others.  We’re a member of a kik group and since we’re “new meat” we get a lot of attention.  I think we’ve got a solid core group of couples that we like to play with, so everybody else can get in line.

Observations:

-everybody in the same bed can be fun because two couples having sex can be 4 people having sex (I don’t do man on man), with interaction between the two couples or switching easily.

-separate rooms is much more intimate and I think a better way for first play dates because you get to know your play mate and get comfortable being in that setting with them.

-seeing/hearing my wife pleasure another man and get pleasured by another man is not traumatic like I thought it could be, even when you consider the affairs she’s had during our marriage.  Its actually kind hot because I’m not far away doing the same thing

-this has made me feel more confident about expressing what I want about anything, I feel like something that just never came up is now easy to talk about and I don’t feel guilty or ashamed to have certain desires or needs.

With all this swinging, how are Pillars and bRaving doing?


We are doing fine.  Thus far we’ve been able to cultivate an atmosphere of trust, respect, open communication and a little bit of mutual privacy so that we can talk to individual play partners; but we also offer the ability to view the other’s phone and see what’s going on.  Complete honesty.

The only problem we’re running into is finding a sitter that will come here and “watch” the kids while they sleep for a reasonable fee.  Couples to play with aren’t hard to find, and we’ve found 2 gems in the last 2 weeks.  I’d guess the other problem was the first couple we played with wanted to know about the 2nd, because the 2nd was really good.  Both pale in comparison to the 3rd, which deserve their own blogpost for that 3 hours of epicness.

Play time…


We’ve played with 2 couples so far.  We’re starting to be good friends with the first couple, and really good friends with the second.  We had our first play time a few weeks ago, our second play time was this past monday evening.  We enjoyed couple 2 so much (and they enjoyed us) that we’re getting back together this Sunday.

An interesting note that you might not consider: transitioning from just meeting to hanging out is easy, but going from hanging out to sexy time can be awkward for inexperienced couples like us lol

The girls handled it well, since my wife is heteroflexible (bi, but decidedly can’t do without the dick), the girls made it happen.  After they kissed for a minute in another room, they came back in, turned on music and grinded danced provocatively on each other before my wife went to him and his wife came to me to do the same.  After that it was a few short minutes and blowjobs from going to separate rooms.

After some fun time alone it evolved into the girls taking turns having threesomes with us before his wife came back to finish me off.

It was an amazing experience that no blog post can do justice.

Tonight I’m having sex with a woman I’m not married to…


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And my wife will be having sex with a man she isn’t married to.  We’re pretty excited about it; met them yesterday and almost got some play time in but it was REALLY late and our babysitter wasn’t available.  This will be the cherry-popping of our swinging lifestyle.  Write you tomorrow 🙂

So Swinging…


The wife and I had a conversation last week and we’ve decided that we’re going to try “swinging”.  For those not familiar with swinging, it is some variation of having sexual contact with another person, persons, group, all sorts of neat stuff.  We had our first meet with a couple this past weekend, the entire point of it was to get to know them, let them get to know us, and enjoy each other’s company.  They were pretty cool and we’ve planned to get together in the future.  At this point, we’re only meeting people as couples, but willing to accept a single female.  We’re open to full swap, soft swap (including oral), and same room sex.  That seems like a nice way to start this adventure.

Some of you may wonder what the difference between this and affairs?  I wondered why I would not be ok with the affairs, but ok with this as well.  The primary difference: trust and consent.  I consent to this and can trust her.

New Discovery Day: December 9th 2014


BRaving Bipolar went into the hospital on the 7th. I asked on the evening of the 9th if anything had “happened” and she said yes, but she didn’t want to get in to it right then. So I got 2 hours of sleep that night.
On the 10th she confessed to me that since she got back from her solo vacation to San Diego on 18 Nov she had slept with 4 men, 2 of which used no protection.  I was angered until I realized that on the 5th of December, her most recent encounter, I had been suffering a horrible migraine all day and I got up to take care of the kids so she could go do school work. Instead, she got dolled up, fucked a dude, maybe did some of her college work and went to her support group.

So I feel really ugly, inadequate, small in the world, disgusting, vulnerable, angry and confused. Right back to the beginning of where I was when I started this blog 2 and a half years ago.

Trip I just took to Pensacola


Just got back from Pensacola night before last.  Spent all day yesterday sleeping with a migraine.  Went to a conference down there all last week, which was basically a paid war-stories kind of vacation, although there were some good bits of knowledge that I came out with.  I’m sure experience varies.

As part of the conference we got to visit the Museum of Naval Aviation, and it was pretty cool!  I will get the pictures uploaded to this blog later this week.  My grandmother had a fall while walking with my mom, and is now in the hospital with brain bleeding.  She’s got some bleeding in the front, back, and side of the left hemisphere.  They really aren’t saying what they’re gonna do, if she will recover, and what “recover” actually means compared to what normal was before the fall.  She is paralyzed on her right side, which I would think indicates a stroke, but they’re not sure what happened.

I haven’t really talked to my wife about it yet, but I find myself with more of a “don’t care” mindset.  That isn’t to say I don’t care about my grandmother, she was always a part of my life because she lived 15 minutes away from where I grew up, so we saw her at least once a week.  I guess my mindset is more of “she’s lived a long life, she spent 4 of the last 5 years taking care of her dying mother, I’ll see her again” kind of mindset.  I don’t have to try to not be sad about this, I can honestly celebrate her when she dies (whether it be soon because of this, or later because of something else).  I’ll be a little sad because I’ll miss her, but when it is time, it is time.

Speaking of the wife, she seems to be doing good on her new med.  I’m gonna have to get the title and list some of them out here for you guys at some point.  We had a long talk about hospitalization last week before I left.  She expressed the desire to check herself in to a hospital during her last depressed a few weeks ago, so I wanted to get information about where she wanted to go, and what we needed to do to check her in there.  Felt kinda morbid, but I needed to know.  In the meantime, our sex drives have flip-flopped.  I have almost no interest in it, and she has a high interest in it.  Sigh.  We joked about how we always flip-flop, and I said that hopefully we would one day “flap” and have the same sex-drive at the same time.  LoL

She wants me to show her how to lift using a barbell at the gym.  This will be fun because I love lifting, and she wants to try something new.  We’re doing bench press, squat, and seated overhead press today.

In my search for a good holster for my new-to-me Glock 17, I’m probably going to buy kydex sheets and make my own.  I can make, at a cost to me of about 40 bucks, the same holster that another company makes that costs 130 bucks.

Remembering the shock of it all…


I was just talking to bRaving Bipolar on the phone about our trip through bipolar land since she’s been diagnosed in April 2012, and a little before that since she had a manic episode starting in December 2011.  

 

I slowly saw my life come apart around me and I wondered what had happened to me that I missed all of the gradual changes that made everything from what it was when we got married, to what it was when she started having the manic episode.  It was as if I woke up and in my mind had missed years of the marriage and she was angry with me.  I could never do anything right, I was unattractive (she told me this, more than once, fucking ouch), and I spent every evening she was at work (5 or 6 a week) literally trying to figure out how to change myself or do things differently to make her happier and to make her want me and love me again.  

 

The rational thought never crossed my mind that something was wrong with her until mid January when we were conversing about something and she mentioned that she would have sex with other men if I didn’t have a problem with her doing it because it was “just sex”, there was no emotion involved.  Now I could’ve reacted a few different ways, and I haven’t always reacted the best to new information from her.  Realistically, berating your spouse for having a fantasy is probably a good way to NOT hear about the rest of them.  I think my cold, tingly internal feeling and “what the fuck?” was more appropriate having been told in the last month how wrong I was doing things and how unattractive I was-I felt threatened and I’d just heard that the only reason she wasn’t having sex with other men was because it would offend me.  In my head, if her reasoning had fallen to making me responsible for that choice, eventually she’d make the choice on her own and do it anyway.

 

A few weeks later she was spending a TON of time on her phone and sitting in ways that I couldn’t see the screen.  It was weird because she was getting emails or texts at a rate faster than I could count (which I later found out, was at a rate faster than she could count either, even in her manic state).  That lasted into the evening, I woke up and saw her on the phone in the middle of the night, and the same thing the entire next day.  I went to the store to get something and saw a weird email address that had the phone number as the name, and it was a number I didn’t recognize.  I had the password to her gmail accounts, so I checked out the inbox: nothing unusual; checked out the sent items: bingo.  She’d sent some sexy pictures of herself to an address I hadn’t seen before, but could piece together because it was the month and day of her birth (in 4-digit format) and her initials.  I convinced her to put the kids to bed, grabbed her phone and opened her gmail app; nothing.  Opened the browser, saw the gmail and subject lines, and died inside.  

 

The 2 months after that were probably the weirdest months of my life.  I don’t know that I have words to describe them.  I was in such a state of emotional shock that I would cry while driving to work, and dread coming home, but I was “happy” that we weren’t getting a divorce and that I was reaching out and getting a little revenge on one of those mother fuckers she was emailing who violated my sleeping area; not a physical violation.  On top of this she had started to tell me about her hypersexuality, which I had kinda been experiencing (finally, I felt attractive again!) but we didn’t know what it was, only that she was so sexually excited by anybody that showed interest that she would shake (her words).  

 

The only way that I can think of to describe it is being completely numb to the world without being drunk, not caring about anything that goes on around you, laughing at inappropriate situations, and happily embracing the impending doom with a Heath-Ledger’s-joker-like smile.  Madness.  

 

At the end of the 2 months she was acting weird again and writing excessive amounts in her “therapy” journal, and the next day it wasn’t laying about in the open like it usually was, so I figured some shit was going down, or was about to go down, and something was in the journal that I should know.  I read the journal, found out about the affairs, and felt my emotional heart beat for the first time in months.  I was PISSED THE FUCK OFF.  The next day we went to see her therapist, a previously scheduled appointment, and her psychiatrist, and she was diagnosed bipolar.  I really didn’t give a shit at the moment, I was still dealing with my own feelings.  I probably shouldn’t have gone with her.  It took me a few days, but I did finally start to read about what bipolar was and what that meant for us and our kids.

 

Anyways, I’m going to get back to slaying kids on Battlefield 4 and wait for bRaving to come home from dinner with her bipolar support group.  It’s so nice to have everybody back under the same roof again 🙂

Pick one


Feeling a little weird today, I was in an exceptionally good mood this morning.  I woke up and immediately began nursing a Rockstar Recovery drink this morning, then went to the gym at work, then went to work.  I took my welbutrin, which I thought would make me feel poopy, but I ended up feeling good all day.  Except for staring at a computer screen all day.

Going to call the Dr tomorrow and see if I can come down off of the anti-depressant and switch to something for as-it-occurs anxiety.  Being sad all the time isn’t my problem anymore, it’s the onslaught of anxiety attacks that I’m getting, which eventually lead to being sad and emotional.

Still working on communication with bRaving Bipolar.  Sometimes it is difficult for me to describe what I REALLY want, and so I end up describing what I want that will GET me what I want by proxy.  Like sex.  I want the sexual intimacy back, but what I really want is to be desired and lusted after again, to have that closeness that comes with having sexual intimacy, and I feel that the more I get those things, the less I am apt to think about the affairs.  It is still a rollercoaster.  I feel insanely bad about it for a few hours, then I get over it and stop torturing myself about why I, in my emotional state, think she isn’t having sex with me.  I told her I want to express how I feel but most of the time I don’t know how to do it without making her mood crash, and so I don’t at all.  We had to cancel a marriage therapy appointment due to a hurricane, and may have inadvertently missed another last week.  We have one coming up on Monday, so we’re looking forward to it.

I offered to go see the new Twilight series movie with her next week.  It isn’t really my series, but she loves it and I want to be involved and interested in things that she likes.  Reluctantly she started telling me about her Ken Follet book that she was reading, some trilogy. I can’t remember the title of it (not Pillars of the Earth), but I know that the second book came out in September of this year and she bought it today to read on the kindle app for her phone.  I like being involved with things she is interested in; I don’t have to like the thing but I really enjoy hearing how much she does.

On a really high point, I traded my Glock 17 and EOTech 552 for a Heckler & Koch HK45C (Compact).  Phenomenal pistol.  Will detail it on another post.