I can never go back. What will I be now?

Been doing a lot of thinking about who I am and what I believe lately.  Last month I finally admitted to myself that there just isn’t any possibility of me going back in any armed service, my brain injuries are just too great to overcome to be effective.  Growing up all I wanted to do was be in the military for the rest of my life, and so when I got in to the military I never saw it ending.  So now that I don’t have that “vision” of myself, I don’t know what to be, I have no goals in life because I always wanted to be in the military.  I can’t be a Marine anymore, a least not an active or reserve one, I’ll just have to suffer being a veteran.  That isn’t a “bad” thing, I just wanted to stay in until retirement.

bRaving Bipolar is doing well, medication changes occasionally, although she is pretty stressed after taking classes back to back.  We are working with the Marine Corps’ Wounded Warrior Program to gather evidence and submit it to the Purple Heart Reclama board.  The marines I was with when this happened:


meet the revised criteria for the Purple Heart because we were both knocked out and sick in quarters for longer than 48 hours.  It was a 152mm artillery round hidden under tires that burnt down a trailer the day before, laid on the ground.  Based on the distance from the tires (5 meters) and studies done on ordnance, there is no way that we would’ve remained conscious from the pressure produced from the blast wave.  One of us was medically retired and the other 3 of us have had severe problems from the traumatic brain injury.  After that I will attempt to negotiate some healthcare from the VA.